Rain

It's raining outside, for the first time since last fall.  It's been raining all night, with thunder and lightening, and I love it.  Rain is like a global bath, it washes everything away.

Sometimes I just want to give up on this whole protector thing and just leave Tristan to his own self-destruction, but the goodness in me won't allow it.  Last night he told me he was going for a walk, I asked if he was going to meet anyone (last time he went on a walk, I heard him talking to someone and he tried to be all secretive about it; how the heck is anyone supposed to keep him safe if he pulls that?) and he yet again tried to lie about it, but he admitted it and all was fine.  And then I heard the car leave, but I tried to believe he would definitely not have pulled that.

Three hours later, I went upstairs and saw that his car was gone.  Son of a bitch.

He came back not too long after I yelled at him in a text message, wondering what was wrong.  I wanted to scream, cry, laugh hysterically and destroy things.  Tristan swears even now that he really did mean to go on a walk, but last minute changes occurred.

"So your fingers weren't working on the text buttons?"  I tried to give him the look of death but I'm still groggy from sleep.

"I wasn't thinking about texting you," he scoffed.

"You could call...."

"Look, I don't think about you at all when I have to go do stuff, alright?"

I gave him what hopefully was a stern look.  "Then change that so you do!  I can't just sit here and let you run around like that!  I almost contacted Jakes to have him send people after you!"

What drives me up the wall with anger is Tristan's total disregard for anyone but himself.  He thinks I did absolutely nothing those four years he was gone, and it's partly because Jake hid a LOT about me from prying eyes.  But what the hell, man?  Everything I ever did, every life I saved, every drop of blood I cleaned up, was for what, some selfish prince?

Oh. My. *** I want to punch his teeth down his throat.