Training

I want to lodge a formal complaint with the neighboring cities here which have ZERO true combat classes or arenas.  "True combat" meaning something more than karate or kickboxing.  Been there, done that.  I want something more along the lines of Krav Maga or Egyptian Kai.

Sometimes, while at work or just laying in bed determining whether I want to go to the gym or not (like right now), I run through the training exercises Jake had me learn years ago.  Run, drop, tuck, roll, arm up, aim straight, one foot in front of the other, run!  Over and over again, and I could never get it right.  Lights off, total silence, climb the stairs and if he could hear me at anytime, get back down and start all over.  Once he stood at the top of the landing pretending to be a guard, and mimed "watering the flowers" while whistling some ridiculous playground tune.  I burst out laughing, which received a lecture on how you never know what anyone is going to do and yes, men do pretty stupid things when they think no one is watching.

Hand-to-hand combat was not as difficult or as thoroughly needed.  Well, as I put it.  Jake didn't believe me when I said I already knew how to fight hand-to-hand, so we went through some slow-motion moves to get me warmed up.  Okay, so I wasn't the most respectful student, with the eye-rolling and sighs and insistence that I already knew this.  I tried explaining that it's instinct, that I didn't need training because in actual combat, my instincts take over and are far more accurate than my self-controlled version.  Jake raised a brow and said tough, it's highly unlikely.  So he took a swing, and in my surprise I ducked and lifted my arms in a blocking stance that deflected the blow, and my right fist jabbed at his unprotected stomach.  I stopped in time before I actually hit him.  His eyes lit up and the biggest grin crossed his face.  "Great job!" He said, looking me up and down at my, haha INSTINCTIVE stance, and I grinned back.  "Okay, so we don't need to cover that part of training...."

We went through everything, from building a shelter out of nothing to distilling water with riverbank sand.  The biggest obstacle was that stupid tree trunk that had fallen who-knows-when and hovered above the river that he was sooooooo determined I not only cross, but learn how to catch a gun on and do my "instinctive hand-to-hand" on.  I just looked at him like he'd grown a second nose.

I swear a few times he purposely acted like he'd "lost it" and gone out, literally, on the limb just so I'd be inspired to overcome my fear of that tree trunk.  One day, as we both stood on the trunk, me gripping his arm for dear life, he swore if I didn't get the next exercise right, he'd shove me off into the water.  Well we did it, I got it perfectly right thank you very much, and the next thing I knew his palm connected with my shoulder and I was falling.

"What happened, honey??" My parents snickered behind the concern in their voices as I shuffled into our house dripping wet.

"He pushed me!  He freaking pushed me!"

Oddly enough, my fear of that tree trunk vanished along with my dignity.  When next we went to continue training, we were saddened to discover the trunk was gone.  Floods or the land owner took it away, and I was miffed.  All that work, I was finally able to do everything Jake wanted me to on that stupid thing, and it was gone.